please don't do it to me ~

I know we are just friends , you like my brother in my life . I can tell about everything to you , but why lately I think you changed ? you're like away from me , yes I know it ! what you don't feel comfortable when near me ? what's wrong with me ? I also don't understand why I shouldn't care about you ? I don't understand with myself , and  I don't understand what's happening with you now. Long as you know , I was so tormented by all these circumstances, I really like to lose someone so I love . Just imagine I always see you , notice to every corner of your body and I'm sure you're never  aware of it . I know I'm selfish because I'd always blame what you do , should I support what my brother wanted , instead of making more and more doubts about the choice he had . But I like to fell useless, maybe I was just thinking about this too much , while you don't. I'm funny to myself , there is a sense of what exactly I save ? fear or loss as what ? I was totally paralyzed, my soul felt empty because my gaze fixed on only one form of yourself.
when I saw you and your fact world in the twitter, I like seeing the face of happiness when you don't say hello. I should be aware of this as a sign that indicates that I either know you as a friend. God, I really need him more than just my friend, but I know I had limit, I had someone who had been tied with my life. I know this is not the proper thing was I talking about when our relationship like this. But really I don't know anymore how to hide a sense of loss that I have, I want you back again to comfort my world, I promise I would not expect anything more from you, because the friendship started from the spirit of mutual support rather than actually like each other. I don't want you to equate with him,her and them . All woman ! I'm different , I cann't think of the same , but come back again I realized I was a nobody who could sue you to be the best for me. It because I'm consumed by my own spiel ? maybe it's just God's secret .Perhaps the happiness we founded our own without forming one more taste. I'm sorry if this post makes things even more messy, but I just wanted to try to take something belonging to me, you're still my best friend! and until whenever possible I will not forget all the goodness that you have.